i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
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You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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