We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
