The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
