just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
