I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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