it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Say something about gay babies.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
3 2 1 whiskey
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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