I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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