i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
