Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
