I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this boner is exhausting
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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