So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
