why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
