i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
