"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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