Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
