weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
