Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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