carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize