are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
