Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
