Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize