dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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