What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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