I'm gonna have a badass scar
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
