Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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