end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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