chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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