Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
