Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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