now i know why i became what i already was.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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