apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
