My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
