I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
