nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
