she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
