She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize