I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
