I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Randomize
