Capitaan dildo arrescate!
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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