he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
don't judge my taste in strippers
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
