Can i not drive my cunt home
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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