So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
