Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
