yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
