In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize