D3 body, D1 cock
I wish my penis had an off switch
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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