at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
