So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This is classic penis vs brain.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
