those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
