forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
