I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
