I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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