We named our party play list daddy issues
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
