he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
