these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize