I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
