Whatcha textin bout Willis?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize