Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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