Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
