Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
