i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You ate ashes out of my bong
A bitchslap is in order.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
