I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize