Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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