Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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