i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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