the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
