how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
