I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize