You're completely useless in the revolution.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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