would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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