I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
